100 thoughts on “Link’s Spiritual Deconstruction

  1. My story was very similar with Link the reason I stepped away for the church that I believed in was because they couldn't accepted my sister who was part of the lgbtq+ community. So I walked away.

  2. I am so glad that Rhett and Link made these videos. It helped me feel better about the fact that I have doubts about my belief.

  3. Thank you for opening up and telling us your stories, when it comes to touchy subjects like these it must take courage to initiate a conversation and share. It was interesting to listen to you describe your journeys, as someone who doubted religion and became agnostic at a fairly young age, it was interesting to get the perspective of of someone who grew up in a highly religious community and see the emotional process behind such a change. I hope you both (especially Link, wow, you were too hard on yourself) will love yourselves despite whatever guilt might still get at you sometimes (I assume it does sometimes, hopefully I'm wrong, since your relationship with "god" was such a big part of both of your lives). Thanks for sharing.

  4. Love is the key to everything Link. I had a very different up bring then the two of you , and in a different place. Yet, I find my self in a very similar place. I am maybe more hopeful then you are, but I think that just comes from the way we process things. Rhett may have brought up the questions, but you were struggling in your heart even without it. Thank you to both of you for being so open and honest with this.

  5. I'm a Roman Catholic and I appreciate you both telling your stories. I appreciate that you want to stay open to the truth and the possibility that God might exist. I pray that God bless you both.

  6. That you both SO MUCH for sharing your personal stories and beliefs like this. It seems to be becoming more and more difficult to talk about your beliefs (or non-beliefs) without offending someone or receiving harsh backlash, and watching you two discuss something so personal is very powerful to me. As someone who was raised Catholic but now considers himself a "skeptical agnostic", I can't even imagine discussing these things with my family, let alone an audience of millions of fans. I'm glad you did though, and thanks for showing me that I'm not alone in my struggles with religion.

  7. they are so brave to sharing all of this. thank you guys! Link are not afraid to talk about this in a real emotional and deep way, and somehow that makes it so relatable.

  8. Link, the God-island you speak of has actually grown in size with the advancement of science in the last century. Modern science has been very unkind to atheists. For instance, scientists long held that the universe existed in an eternal steady state. Einstein's theory and Hubble's discovery has shown that our universe did, in fact, have a beginning. Now, if the natural world (universe) of time, space and matter had a beginning, then its cause had to therefore be, above nature (super-natural), timeless, spaceless and immaterial. RIght? Unless, of course, you believe that the universe created itself – which is illogical. For the universe to have created itself would mean that the universe would have had to exist before it existed.

  9. I've really appreciated these past two Ear Biscuits. I grew up super involved in church and faith, but became incredibly disillusioned after four years at a legalistic, horrible college. You guys have made me realize that it's okay to come to a point of kind of letting my faith go in a sense. I've just had it on a shelf ignoring it, but these podcasts have almost been therapeutic for me. It really hit me hard when Link said that he wasn't who everyone thought he was. That's exactly how I've felt probably sense high school. Thanks for sharing these personal stories, guys.

  10. I always find so much more theological and moral value in a person's exit story from a belief system, than the belief systems provide themselves.

  11. I relate so much more to Rhett's story but I absolutely love Link's heart. Maybe I'll start listening to earbiscuits more often if the content is this interesting!

  12. the story of rhett telling link to get out of the car and then walking back to get him made me cry both times that i heard it. i can see it in my head and it breaks my heart dude. they've been through everything together.

  13. Interesting, but as a person of faith, I prefer to believe in a loving God. As for the LBQTB community, why does everyone assume that an evangelical would hate these people? Or that all churches would reject them? My church welcomes all who want to come. I have taken the time to teach my (now adult) children to love all. Their uncle left his marriage with my sister because he's gay. They still love him and treat him with respect. Their cousin is gay. Same thing. I agree some churches are homophobic, but NOT all believers are.

  14. From what it sounds like, if I'm interpreting correctly, I think it boils down to "there's merit – GOOD merit – in an honest search for truth, and a desire to love others regardless of impetus". And I really respect that, Link.

  15. Link’s story resonates with my experience so hard. That feeling of safety in the structure. The feeling of just wanting to know that I’m doing okay even though I may not understand it all right now.
    I left the church because I started to feel like that safety and comfort was a lie. I started to see the holes and noticed how thin the veil over my eyes was, and I just couldn’t stay in that mindset knowing that it was a lie.
    For a long time I resented my parents and authority figures for perpetuating that lie. Then that resentment got tiring to keep up so I just let it go.
    I still feel it a little whenever I go back home, but I feel like I’m in a good place now.

  16. I couldn’t agree more. When I was 8 years old I was terrified of church. Talking about the rapture and the mark of the beast. Now an adult with a family of my own I have a very open mind about religion. To each there own. No one is wrong for their beliefs. Thanks for you both sharing your stories✌️

  17. Church can feel so uniting and also so toxic. No one should tell you how to specifically have a relationship with god, or whomever you believe in. Its personal, individual. I like how this ended with the thought of wanting to be a hopeful agnostic. I do not have a strong belief in anything in particular myself, but it feels good to leave the door open and be open to what comes. I have to be thankful and grateful for my existence and the opportunities I have, and I personally feel I have to thank life itself for it. Whatever "life" is.

  18. @Link, You should consider taking a little more ownership to your present veiwpoint. You absolutely put a lot of this on Rhett in a way of saying "You did this!" As though to say further that somehow this way of thinking is wrong, which it certainly is not. When watching, it absolutely seemed as though you were brushing off your views as "Rhett, Rhett, Rhett!". To put it plainly, and I'm sorry if this upsets you, but you were spineless. Even if Rhett was a type of influence, YOU had a choice both then and now to what YOU think. YOU have control of your thoughts. YOU are an adult that can think whatever you want. Now act like it, lol.

    That said, you still have a great story and I am glad to have heard it. I know, Link, you don't like labels but I am a secular humanist. What that means essentially is I am a believer in people and the here and now. At any rate, I'm not even sure if you will actually read this but you and Rhett are cool dudes and not that you guys need a pat on the back but keep up the great work you guys have been doing over the years!


  19. Sounds like Link and Rhett both might consider Deism where there is a "god" but they have no direct interaction with people and their lives and miracles, divine writings etc… never happeneed. It is what a LOT of the signers of the Declaration of Independence were like Franklin, Jefferson, very likely Washington (though VERY hard to narrow down Washington as there are not any writings from him on his belief system)…

  20. Religion is all about control through fear and therefore perpetuating ignorance. Also, how is religion a good thing when your initial response is to abandon your best friend on a dirt road when he tells you he made a mistake and got drunk at a party. How does that make you a good person/follower of God? It makes you an asshole for making your best friend feel like dirt. I’m glad Rhett came back for Link.

  21. Thank y'all for these. I went through the same process a few years ago. It's great to see folks I find value in have had similar walks in life.

  22. This is refreshing and a little scary. Your stories definitely resonate with what I went through and gives me hope. It’s been 2 years this month that I told my wife and while things have gotten better we have a long way to go. The scary part is that our kids (17 & 15) have no idea and I know my son follows you guys. The reason my kids have been kept in the dark is my wife’s wishes. I plan to share these videos with my wife cause I think she’ll relate to these stories. I would like to hear how your spouses are making it through this process. Thanks again and keep up the good work fellas.

  23. Do you think a church for agnostics would be a good thing? A way to have the system and community without the belief?

  24. I think a very relevant point to the whole conversation is that agnosticism and science aren't beliefs. They're a lack of belief. Science isn't a system of beliefs it's a methodology of asking questions and testing possible answers against reality. I always hear "well, you believe what you believe, I believe what I believe" but actually I don't believe, I question.

  25. Thank you guys for being vulnerable and sharing these stories. I was always curious about this side of your lives and it's easy to understand why you would be hesitant to share. I am curious about where your wives are at now, although they may want to keep that personal. Really, anything else you have to say on the subject, even if it's just a "thought exercise", would interest me. Please keep telling your stories! Regardless of what people believe, anyone can relate to confronting the idea of God and figuring out how they feel about it. It really is a lifelong journey.

  26. As a agonist, dyslexic, insomniac I often find myself lying awake, wondering wether or not there is a dog.
    From one hopeful lifelong agonist, on the other side of the pond, these last view earbiscuits have been very interesting. And Rhett you totally influenced Link 😅 I'm just glad your both happier in your beliefs.

  27. The falling away experienced by these men is fairly common for thoughtful fundamentalist evangelicals. The dark night of the soul has been experienced by many great saints. Great joy is to be found on the journey, and may only be realized at the ultimate destination. Welcome and peace be with you, fellow travellers.

  28. I can't help but be totally distracted by the state of the wallpaper in the back.
    It has started getting wrinkly from un-sticking from the wall.
    it looks horrible.

  29. Thank you both for sharing your stories, it's really cool getting to hear the deeper parts of your lives. Look forward to the occasional spiritual episodes to come.✌️

  30. Great article on this: https://www.patheos.com/blogs/youngfogey/2020/02/5-lessons-from-rhett-and-links-spiritual-deconstruction/

  31. I relate to your journeys so closely. I delt with Rhett's struggle with fact and logic. And suffered from Link's pressure of perfectionism and being a disappointment. Thank you for helping me mentally articulate my experience.

  32. Links expression of his journey here is very comforting and kind. I love the openness and nonjudgmental nondogmatic approach. The world needs more of this.

  33. Do I have a theist belief system? Yes. Do I think my belief system is 100% the truth? Yes. But do I feel sad for you two after hearing your developments? Absolutely not. If anything, I respect y’all more for being open about these things.
    What really resonated with me in this was the idea that ‘People believe what the want to believe/what works for them.’ While that sounds like it could be a dismissal of all religions, it’s really a validation of them. Do I want to believe Catholicism? Yes, but I also want to believe the truth. So it stands to reason that I would assume Catholicism is the truth. But that notion could really apply to any religion, just replace ‘Catholicism’ with your belief system of choice. Ideas like that are what help me have religious tolerance, because I can acknowledge that everyone is doing and believing what’s best for themselves, without me feeling like I need to constantly evangelize or try to convert people. It’s a peaceful thought.
    Great series, guys. I’m definitely gonna be a more frequent Ear Biscuits listener from this point forward.

  34. It's so comforting to know you guys fully gave up your faith, like me. i'm surrounded by people who questioned their faith but still found a way to hold onto it. props them, props to us.

  35. Religion is such a burden on the mental health of our youth. Constantly being made to feel as though we're not good enough to live up to literal perfect expectations at the threat of eternal torture. The claim that god loves you, but will torment you if you turn away from his ugliness is the worst kind of abusive, toxic relationship. I'm glad your journeys took you away from that and I hope they continue to take you to a healing place. Thank you for sharing these stories.

  36. There’s nothing to argue about god, I wish people understood that more. It’s my choice to believe or not, and for people that have passed on I am hopeful that there is a god that they devoted their life to for so long. It’s hard to come to terms not being “religious” like I used to but this helps that others have the same questioning and hardships when it comes to faith. Thank you both for sharing your story, from a hopeful agnostic

  37. You guess should look into Unitarian Universalist churches. They are considered an open door church with no single denomination and may align more with your beliefs. Check it out! (Extremely and genuinely accepting to the LGBTQ community as well!)

  38. Also, thank you so much for your openness, honesty and love! Always be true to yourself and your beliefs and you will have love and acceptance!

  39. In response to your comments about atheism being final and somewhat dogmatic in itself, it doesn't have to be. Atheism isn't necessarily a declaration that god doesn't exist, but often a practical assumption that god doesn't exist. We don't claim to know for sure that god isn't real in the same way we don't claim to know for sure that our car problems weren't caused by gremlins. It's just that at a certain point, the idea of god becomes so absurd and unrealistic that we make the assumption no such being exists. You talk about being open, but writing off god as an explanation for anything opens you up to a far greater understanding of the world and yourself than being agnostic, which is just theistic fence-sitting. Atheism is nothing to be afraid of, which you may find out further along on your journey.

  40. Check out Street Epistomology on youtube….mainly Anthony Magnabosco…its a beautiful way to ask questions about any deeply held beliefs (not just religious btw) without confrontation. Its loosely based on the socratic method. More than likely you will never read this lol

  41. Both of you have found and are finding your own spiritual paths.
    Keep doing you and move forward the way that feels right to you.
    Thank you both for sharing your stories.

  42. This is the first time I've watched one of your podcasts, I am enjoying it, but y'all have your microphones way to close to your faces. I can't tell if y'all are trying to do some asmr stuff, but Link has some odd breathing patterns.

  43. Wow, I thought I identified with Rhett’s story, but wow, Link. It’s incredible to me how we have so many of the same experiences and thoughts. Really helps to feel that I’m not alone. Thank you for sharing.

  44. Hey Rhett and Link, I’m truly curious, you mentioned Ken Ham and he gives science that goes against evolution. What made Ken Ham less credible than Francis Collins?

  45. This is really beautiful seeing you at this point in your journey. Thinking for yourself is a wonderful thing ❤️ I wish you all the best as you become more and more aware and comfortable with reality. Love you guys!

  46. I love that Link can finally love and accept himself for who he is. Religion steals that from people. Live your life and enjoy the gift of being here in this moment in time!

  47. Religion and religiousness led to questions that couldn't be explained or satisfactorily answered. The incongruence led to despondency and confusion. The despondency and confusion eventually led to spirituality and faith, and now no explanation is necessary.

  48. This is amazing you should be allowed to feel how you feel and you're not wrong at all for falling out of your old beliefs very brave of both of you telling these stories , and very interesting I really liked it and I love you guys being more open ☺️

  49. I love you two's stories. They are shockingly similar to mine graduating from Mormonism. Glad you did your homework. Thanks for sharing Link.

  50. Link try to remember the love you felt in your heart the day you saw your first child the day they were born. That is the love your Father has for you now and all of your life.

  51. I've listened to this series, each episode, every night until the next episode, then done the same with the newest out.
    I find it so fascinating.

  52. I love these episodes, guys. Quick point, though – atheism is not the affirmative position that a god does not exist, rather that you are not convinced one does. It's the position that you do not believe the affirmative statement "god exists" has met its burden of proof. So, it sounds to me like you both are agnostic atheists, which is to say you are not convinced of the existence of a god but you do not purport to know that god does not exist.

    That being said, don't let me or anyone else ever choose your identity. I wouldn't deign to disrespect you enough to decide who or what you are. Your stories are so wonderful, personal, and important and I dont want you to feel like anyone values you based on how you choose to identify. Seriously, thanks again for these episodes.

  53. Tears are a language God understands. He waits even now, with open arms of forgiveness! You can always return to him like the prodigal son!

  54. Me and my husband have different religions, but neither of us let it get into our personal lives. We listen to each others views, sometimes we argue, and get over it. I'm glad their wives were able to adapt to their change in religion. Its really easy to believe different things and still love each other.

  55. There are SO many things I want to say to you Link. I’ll start by saying I love your heart and your genuineness. You said something about hoping that you’re not disqualified from receiving God’s love. I can assure you, He still loves you deeply and beyond measure!

    I went into the Navy when I was 18 years old, and was the first female assigned to my ship. I’ll just say, that some terrible things happened. I had been taught that God was a loving God, and after this happened, I shook my fist at him and said that, If you exist at all, you are NOT the loving God I was told you are. I told him that I would no longer follow a God who could allow this to happen to me. He couldn’t be good and I didn’t want anything to do with him. For the next seven years, I lived my life without him (as far as I knew).

    That was over 25 years ago. The Lord has since then done an incredible work in my life. He has shown me that he really is good. It’s been quite a process, but he’s been revealing to me more and more how much he loves me and has been helping me to receive his love.

    Bottom line… don’t stop having an open heart. Don’t stop searching for the truth. God has never left you (and never will!) He is still guiding your journey back to him. It’s a promise in his word.

    I’m praying for you to find peace and truth. My teen boys love you, and so do I!

  56. Marriage was designed by God because He made us! He created marriage for man and woman. There is NO such thing as gay marriage. Our society accepts it today, but it’s not really marriage. They’re just calling it that!

  57. I agree with both of you and I want to cry because this is something I relate to so strongly. It's always been the extreme, you believe or you are lost/you don't and never have. You can't force someone to have faith and I'm in the same place as you two–I'm open to something happening to show me God is there and wants to be there, but I won't push to make a connection when I have doubts that are giving me immense regret and hurt.
    I've never seen someone who thinks the same as I do and are living their truth through happiness. I'm surrounded by constant and unwavering faith and I can't make sense of it. You made it so much clearer and I can't thank either of you enough for that. Damn. I feel seen. Like there's an approval now, or an example that shows me I can make it.

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