Jesus Camp & Suicide Watch

Jesus Camp & Suicide Watch


in a recent video I briefly mentioned
going to a Jesus boot camp when I was attending in Christian College if you
missed that one you might want to refer to it to make more sense of this video
quick history I grew up being indoctrinated into the Pentecostal
Christian religion and I also attended a Lutheran school I didn’t really know
anything about the outside world I was like Bryce Dallas Howard in M night
Shyamalan as the village before she got out I wasn’t allowed to have any
non-christian friends or watch any non Christian media TVs music movies
fast-forward to me when I just turned 18 I thought my only option career-wise
that’s cute career was was to work in a church or to
become a missionary quite a few of my friends from church we’re also going to
this Bible College in Griffin Georgia to attend get ready for it masters school
of ministry no joke it kind of sounds like something from Harry Potter
masters school of magic anyway it’s now called save valor or saga valor after
watching this video if you’re curious to know more about them or if you have any
questions for them direct link is below there was this peer pressure to go to
school and I did in the first few days of being at this school that was also in
a church the church is called Griffin first and we were told to sign a waiver
or an agreement to give them our permission to go to this rigorous boot
camp think of it as the Bible College hazing experience if you will all of the
students there were 35 of us including me we’re told we were going to be taken
to a secluded location and we would go into this boot camp we would not be told
where we were going to be taken to or for how long we would be there we also
had no idea what we would be doing at this camp but the pastor’s made it sound
so fun here were the rules when attending one you’re not allowed to ask
questions and you’re not allowed to speak footnote I would actually like to
go to one of those silent meditation places at some point in my life but that
is definitely not what I’m talking about here – we’re not allowed to bring cell
phones or watches because the pastor’s didn’t want us to know what time it was
throughout the whole camp experience 3 we’re only allowed to bring one personal
item now this could be toothpaste but it doesn’t include your toothbrush it could
be a hair tie it could be a roll of toilet paper and a student’s actually
plan who was going to bring what to the camps that we had supplies of
we needed also women were told feminine products were excluded from this rule so
bring all the tampons and pads you want I’m actually surprised they let women
attend the camp given our menstrual cycle impurities and uncleanliness like
in Leviticus chapter 15 verse 19 when a woman has her regular flow of blood the
impurity of her monthly period will last seven days seven days and anyone who
touches her will be unclean until evening anything she lies on during her
period will be unclean anything she sits on will be unclean whoever touches her
bed must wash his clothes and bathed with water and he will be unclean until
evening in addition to this personal item rule we were required to bring a
backpack that had to have a duct-taped bag of sugar in it the first years were
required to buy a five-pound bag of sugar the second years a 10-pound bag of
sugar the third years 15 pounds of sugar and
there was no fourth year this was a three year program because apparently
that’s how long it takes to still not understand the nonsense in the Bible we
later found out that the bag of sugar represented Jesus carrying the weight of
the world’s sins the fourth rule we had to follow their orders I know this all
sounds great and appealing right no no no no quickly before I get into the camp
experience I have to tell you about a night leading up to it all of those
students were with the pastors in the sanctuary and the building was freezing
I remember seeing my friends physically like shaking because it was so cold we
were having an intense worship service speaking in tongues
raising our arms jumping around it was like a Benny Hinn crusade the pastors were also telling us horror
stories of missionaries who were tortured and killed for their faith and
the pastors told us you have to be willing to do that too now back to our
camp experience or experimental prison it happened late one night around 11:30
I remember waking up to the sounds of loud banging on the dorm rooms and my
roommate was already up and frantically running around the room and she was
screaming this is it this is it we have to go this is it so
I’m panicking because I didn’t have my bag of sugar duct taped yet I wasn’t
prepared so I jump out of my bed locate the duct tape and the sugar and I sit on
the floor and I’m rocking back and forth and I’m just wrapping and I look like a
maniac just wrapping this bag of sugar my roommate leaves and the door is just
swinging open I throw on some shorts a t-shirt my tennis shoes and I head out
we were later told that being taken suddenly was because when Jesus comes
back you’re not gonna know it’ll just happen so you have to be ready I was
totes not ready for the rapture as I head downstairs to the front lawn so
many students were already there the pastor’s were screaming at them to do
jumping jacks and burpees and we weren’t allowed to stop until they said so and
this entire time were not allowed to take our backpacks off so the entire
camp experience that backpack with sugar is now a part of your body as I joined
my fellow students I realized I had been holding them up we were forced to work
out until every student was gathered in the front lawn once everyone was finally
there we were loaded onto a bus and we were told we were not allowed to fall
asleep anytime a student would fall asleep or would start to fall asleep
the pastor’s would start screaming right in their faces and they would bang on
the bus windows they also would shine their flashlights in our faces meanwhile
my eyes are locked on the outside world I remember trying to figure out if I
could remember our direction or our course and I was also counting in my
head one one thousand two one thousand three I was counting in my head trying
to figure out how long we were on the bus next thing I know we pulled to a
stop in the woods this secluded camp lodging area no one else was there
besides our group as soon as we got off the bus we were told to form two lines
and start jogging the camp area had trails and we were running
on uneven terrain I’m not sure how long we ran I just remember feeling like I
couldn’t keep going I looked over at my best friend at the time I remember her
crying she was crying and just saying I can’t keep going I can’t keep doing this
and the pastors would just get right in her face and screaming at her that she
had to i started slowing down also and they got right in my face and started
screaming at me to keep going let me just take a second to say that that
alone is not a pleasant experience I don’t think anyone likes to be yelled at
I don’t think anyone likes to be forced to go beyond their athletic abilities on
top of all this I grew up being sexually abused from the time I was four or five
to ten years old and even at 18 years old having a man be that close to me
made me extremely nervous and I found it to be threatening what’s gonna happen
next oh god what what what do I do what’s
gonna happen next now imagine grown men surrounding you and they’re screaming
right in your face I would do anything to get them to stop so I ran afterwards
we were taken to our bunks men were in one room women were in the other room
the pastor’s also checked our backpacks and then we were told to meet them at 3
a.m. the following morning or by this point later that day who fucking knows
since we didn’t have watches or cell phones we tried to take turns sleeping
but I don’t think anyone fell asleep how could you you’re in this intense
environment it’s late at night already and you know you’re gonna be up right
away anyway you don’t know what’s gonna happen next
how could anyone fall asleep in that environment when we thought it must be
about 3:00 a.m. now we gathered outside and we stood in our uniform two rows and
we waited and waited and waited eventually some of us sat down some
students were too afraid to when the pastor’s finally showed up
we started jogging again we were later told they ran ass straight for 24 hours
the only time we took short breaks was when the pastor’s weighed strange mind
games on us for example something that took place is us all standing in a
circle and we were given two minutes to memorize everyone’s name they gave me
three tries to do this and each time I couldn’t do it we were
forced to do more workouts and exercises after I couldn’t do it they move
to someone else and then someone else eventually someone did it again this was
like the second week we were there there are 35 of us and we’re just now like
getting to know each other another example one night again we’re standing
in a circle and we were told we’re not allowed to move we were not allowed to
take our feet off the ground shift our feet in our shoes don’t even raise your
toes our feet were planted and they had to stay that way if you were caught
moving your feet at all you were forced to go do more workouts after a few hours
people started to step out of the circle the last woman standing 9 or 10 hours
later she said Jesus died on the cross for me no matter how bad my feet hurt no
matter how much my feet ached I had to stand this was the least I could do
stand for Jesus another night after a full day of running and exercise we were
taken to a room that had a large TV in the corner and all over the floor there
were like scattered pillows there was also a couch and the pastor’s told us to
take a seat you could lie down if you wanted to and watch this old documentary
film they told us we could not fall asleep and then they turned off the
lights when someone started to fall asleep we were all gathered outside and
told to run up and down a hill and we weren’t allowed to stop until the pastor
said so this repeatedly happened I think three or four times we were inside with
the lights out watching this old boring documentary film starting to fall asleep
then being jolted awake by pastors screaming in our faces and then going
outside and running up and down the hill again I also remember the pastors
treating this whole experience like a joke the only food we were given to eat
was this unflavored gloopy oatmeal and they loved giving me the biggest plate
you also had to eat every single bite on your plate the longer it took you to do
so the more your friends outside who already ate the food were forced to run
and exercise they again were being held up the pastor’s reasons for doing this
they said if you’re a missionary and you’re in a foreign country and if
people give you food you have to eat it regardless if you like it or not and it
would be highly disrespectful to not eat every single bite we were at the camp
for three days when we got back to the church I called my parents and I told
them what happened and I told them that I needed
leave my parents reassured me that everything was okay I had moved out of
state for college and that this transition was going to be
difficult and I just needed to give it more time then I went to the Christian
counselor at this church and I told her I was extremely anxious and depressed
and that I needed to leave she said don’t listen to Satan because he was
obviously putting these thoughts in my head she said don’t listen to the devil
and his demons listen to God I had no one to turn to
no one took me seriously now I’m staying at this Bible College involuntarily and
no one is letting me leave so I decided to pull a hamlet I essentially am not in
madness but mad in craft I felt as if I had been backed up into a corner and the
only people surrounding me didn’t or couldn’t see that I needed help I was
completely surrounded by religious lunatics if I wanted to get out I had to
do something extreme because they were extreme I had to match their intensity
level so they could finally see I needed to get the fuck out I packed a small
knife in my backpack and I went to morning prayer at the chapel each
morning we had prayer that lasted for two hours it started at 7:00 and ended
at 9:00 a.m. and you could go anywhere in the sanctuary space as long as you
didn’t fall asleep apparently radical Christians don’t
sleep so I went closer to the stage area the front of the room I was hoping
someone would see me and would stop me from what I was about to do and started
doing I began cutting my forearm and I kept cutting and no one saw me do that I
carved the words love me into my left arm unfortunately you can still see the
scars if you saw me in person you would be able to spot out my scars without
having to stare I don’t want to show my scars in this video because I feel like
that would be glorifying self-harm in a way and I do not support that idea at
all I’m not proud of this so I pushed my sleeve back over my arm and I just let
that experience sink in for a day and then I went to the pastor’s and I asked
if I could speak with them privately and I showed them my scars they decided to
move me into another dorm room with an older student so she could keep an eye
on me that wasn’t good enough for me during this time I had been talking to
the Christian counselor and I had told her I didn’t want to live anymore I told
her I needed to leave and if I couldn’t I was either going to drown myself slit
my wrists or my other idea which was running headfirst into this giant tile
wall that was in the chapel’s bathroom so one Sunday morning I’m having a panic
attack and I tell one of the pastors I was going to kill myself and he told me
to wait right there because he was going to go get help so
as soon as he turns I ran I didn’t know where I was going and I didn’t have a
plan at that point there’s this big pond outside of the church and that’s where I
found out later the Christian counselor had told the people looking for me check
the pond she’s probably in the pond meanwhile I ended up going to the
women’s bathroom and I just locked myself in a stall and I just cried one
of my friends found me and I was taken to the ER and then I was taken to a
suicide hospital and I stayed there for a few days and I remember calling my
parents and pleading with them to come get me
and they did later I was told that two other students also left the school just
right after I did I was also told that the pastors were really hard on the
other students to not leave my friend told me on the phone they said no one
else is leaving like screaming no one else is leaving and this is proof that
religion can be dangerous unfortunate that the religion I left was
Christianity the most I’ve lost from realizing I’m an atheist and being
outspoken about that is friendships and relationships I feel so much toward
people who leave their religion people and other religions where just them
leaving and becoming an atheist has devastating results that are very
extreme that’s horrible people being treated so poorly just by
rejecting a belief and I want to talk about this more specifically also how
religion affects women to be continued

100 thoughts on “Jesus Camp & Suicide Watch

  1. I'm not sure if you remember me Sarah but I attended this school with you (which I now think of as a cult) but I'm so sorry, I had no idea this was how you were feeling. When you left they definitely kept it from us and the truth because I remember asking several people what happened to you. I was roommates with the older student they made us switch out and I moved in with your old roommate. I hated that school and still have resentment towards how they made me and others feel. I remember whenever a student left or they "kicked them out" we were no longer allowed to talk to them and it made no sense how they decided to kick people out (there were two scenarios that were almost identical and they kicked two people out but not another person and I was like what is their reasoning for letting "that one stay" and the favoritism displayed and usually meant that person was the most "holy" (eye roll) Anyways I ended up going back the 2nd year and after that some stuff happened and I literally left my stuff there and never got it back, people who I thought were my friends never talked to me again because of the whole she must be one of satan's minions now that she is no longer here. I remember one girl calling to check on me and she was whispering and trying to be sneaky about it. I still believe in God but that school definitely affected me in a negative way. I did hear that the one Pastor who was over the program when we went was basically terminated by the Pastor over the church (not sure how true it is) but I always had a weird feeling about the guy and really didn't like him, made me feel very uncomfortable. Anyways, Thanks for making the video. I always felt alone about how I felt at that school. I did have a girl that joined a year after me & reached out and said she also believed it to be a cult and wanted me to tell her my experiences there but I never wanted to sit down and think about it or admit how much they brainwashed me and tore me down. Thanks again for sharing!!

  2. Not every body is extremists I'm Christian but what you are talking about is extremism, and had nothing to do with Christianity! There will always be manipulative psychopaths running some religious communities, the world is filled with psychopaths. And it is wrongly to say All religions is as your experience. I feel for you, that you have lived in the hell under Christian extremists!

  3. I am so sorry you went through this Sarah and that it has turned you completely off of religion. I do understand though. I was raised Southern Baptist and our Pastor was an extremist (Huge Ego in my opinion). He made all of these strict rules (things we could and couldn't do, wear, listen to, watch, etc.) and expected parents to enforce these things at home, which my mother tried, but thankfully my father is agnostic and wasn't having any of it. I drifted for years after I left that church, and finally joined the Mormon church for a few years, only to be shunned by them when I divorced an abusive, non-Mormon husband. After that, I was done with Christianity and like you, became pretty much an atheist. In my late 20s, I began exploring other spiritual groups – Wicca, Shamanism, Native American spirituality, etc. Now I believe in a Higher Consciousness, I just no longer call it God. It is my Higher Self, the self that knows right and wrong, truth and lies, etc. I believe in the power of Archangels and Ascended Masters (Saint Germain, Jesus and Buddha included). I meditate, speak with the Archangels, and am a lightworker and empath. I am not saying that you may some day come to these conclusions, but you may some day discover that there is something OUT THERE. However, if you remain an atheist, there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with that either. Keep it real for YOU. I have subbed to your channel and am looking forward to learning more about your journey. Blessings and Peace to you!

  4. What sick repugnant person would downvote this? Pedophiles? Child abusers? WTF. I too was raised in a fundamentalist cult. It was a nightmare. I was abused as well. I too am an atheist. Religion is sick. Oh yeah, I too have been in the hospital over suicide attempt, have PTSD, etc. I'm 42 and still am recovering from religion.

  5. Your story is so close to my own. My parents and sisters are still super Baptist and they have shunned my wife and I since we lived together before marriage and said we were Atheists years ago. I relate so hard with your story minus molestation. My only regret is that I didn't leave religion when I was 15 years old. Instead I missed out on the fun parts of being a kid/high schooler and didn't get to do any of the normal stuff until I escaped at the ripe old age of 25 years old. I still feel robbed of a childhood. I'm glad I found someone with a similar story and married her. We have a good life now and it's mythical jewish sky zombie free!

  6. People may say that Jesus died on the cross for us, but other people have died for selfless causes too… What makes Jesus' death more special than, say, somebody jumping on a grenade to save others? I don't necessarily doubt that there was a guy named Jesus who lived long ago… But to credit him with doing magic and saving all of humanity by getting hung on a cross (a common form of torture which 1000's of other people were subjected to) is insane. People put faith into invisible gods because they are scared of nothingness after death, that's what it all comes down to.

  7. Absolutely harrowing hearing what happened to you. I hope you're okay. Even if Jesus doesn't love you for messing up his "boot camp", we sure will. 🙂

  8. Thank you for speaking out. Lots of kids & teenagers around the world are faced with similar religious pressure. This video gives them hope and direction on how to look at the situation. Keep it up!!!

  9. Wow. Incredible story. I am literally speechless right now. Religion is indeed dangerous and a lot of people don't become atheists because they fear rejection, if only there were more people like you to share their experiences. You have earned my total and utmost respect !!
    PS: Richard Dawkins shared your video (which I think is pretty amazing).

  10. I always knew Christians were as fucked up as Muslims. I'm an atheist living in a Christian country and I feel surrounded by stupidity. I love science, I know I am an animal who's going to die like every other animal, and it's fine. My cat doesn't have problem with her mortality either. I accept the truth. What's wrong with it anyway? Death isn't scary, you just don't feel anything, like before you were born. Why did we invent religions? I can agree that deism is a potential hypothesis, but theism and religions? No way. (Almost?) every religion is misogynistic, that makes it completely impossible, we're talking about an invisible almighty being who created every star and planet, and possibly life on other planets too. And they think of god as a lord and father, so basically that all powerful invisible thing is a fucking dude? He has an invisible giant dick or what? Hahahahaha.
    Thank you for this video! That was sad to listen to, but if I were you, I'd want to share that with the world too.

  11. The mistake you made was cutting yourself. What would have really gotten their attention would have you deciding to cut someone else, preferably one of the "pastors".

  12. You know reading through the comments I see some people say that what you went through isn't christianity, however I'm dumbfounded by this because the doctrine they use and the god that supposedly spoke those words permits and justifies the horrendous practices that are in that very book. How does that make sense?

  13. Been through a light version of the same thing when I was involved with YWAM (youth with a mission). It was called "Nico", which I believe stood for "champion" or something like that. No watch, woken up in the middle of the night, hiking for miiiiiles, only nuts, granola and ansjovis (yuck) to eat for a few days, forced to take a swim in a cold Swedish lake in the fall, and so on. All for the purpose of training us to submit to Christ.
    The year after I myself staffed one of these bizarre events.
    Today, 15 years later, I'm doing my best to to encourage people to use their minds and question everything, to never submit your critical faculties to anyone or anything. Have never felt so free and known such peace before, as I do now as an atheist and a sceptic. Peace!

  14. Sarah, my wife and I were involved in a Bible-based cult in the 1990s. I can completely and totally relate to the type of control you talk about here, and the damage it does. We are also atheists now, and we both just sat here shaking our heads watching this clip at what doesn’t t surprise us at all. We have come to believe that radical Christianity is really more like Satanism, with torture and incessant demands to follow the group as the norm. Sleep deprivation, emotional and verbal abuse, food rationing and food torture, forced exercise, and all of the things you describe are insane. Just insane. There is no rational excuse. There is no good reason. Despite what it took, you were very smart to run. And more than that, you saw the strings of religion. And this type of church is NO different than your local neighborhood church except in degree. Eventually people in religion will judge you, castigate you, tell you “ you’re doing it wrong” and punish you in one way or another. It comes with the territory. Judgment and control are what it is about. They portray themselves as “loving” but eventually you will feel the wrath. Having a relationship with “god” is an abusive relationship to begin with. He demands your love and faith or you not only die, but burn in eternal torture forever. Not much of a choice in that. Just like an abusive husband who says “if you just behave I won’t have to beat you.” What a bunch of shit. You are a very brave soul, and even more so for telling your story. Thank you, thank you, thank you! More young people need to hear this!!

  15. Sarah, not all Christian denominations are this crazy. My Catholic parish is a lot of fun, and the community is great.

  16. Damn. Idk where to start. Thanks a ton for this. I was in super charismatic nondenominational groups (IHOP-KC, etc) for years and I'm still trying to work through how to feel and think about it all. Nowhere near as intense as this though.

    Makes me realize that I could have had it a lot worse. But at the same time, to know that there are others that got swept up in the struggle to prove yourself as holier than everyone else and the madness that ensues is comforting somehow.

    Thanks 🙂

  17. The truly horrifying part is how well thought out this all was and is. There is no aspect that is by accident or without purpose. The bible may be full of crazy nonsensical rules, but all their rules are engineered to create an environment of suppression and subservience, leading to a surrender of control. There's a reason that Stalin studied at the seminary before founding the gulags.

  18. I was there and it was just beyond insane… my friend at the time puked the nasty ass oatmeal and was forced to get a new bowl after running a few laps as a punishment. The second time he puked in his mouth and swallowed it to avoid having to go for another run. At the time I was an immigrant with a student visa (I'm a U.S citizen now) and when I had enough I tried to leave and move with a family from the church while sorting things out.They (the church) got a hold of my passport and threated me to turned me into immigration if I left. That place was and I believe is still super fucked up so I really hope it goes down. I'm sure they are going to try to pin it on the director at the time but the senior pastor is just as guilty because nothing there happened without him knowing or approving

  19. That sounds like a truly horrifying and traumatic experience. It's amazing that things like this are allowed to go on and nothing is done to stop it because religion is involved. If you take the religious aspect out of it, then what is left? Abuse. Simple as that. I'm so sorry you had to experience something like that but if it's any comforte I think it made you a smarter and better person. More people need to come out and talk about the dangers religion causes. Thanks for sharing.

  20. So Sorry you had to go through this, it sounds horrible!!But your a survivor and that's definitely something to be proud of!!💖Thank you for sharing your story

  21. I’m credentialed in the assembly’s. I’m from Jackson Ga. I’m very very sorry that this happened to you. That is not of God. I completely abhor what happened to you Sarah. I’m sorry. I’m praying that God shows you that He still loves you no matter what those people did to you in His name. I’m sorry Sarah, on behalf of everyone I’m sorry.

  22. I went to GSLM. I don't know if you know about this one, but it is the same school, after the Masters, but before Valor. There was a similar experience with the Jesus camp, but not as intense, I guess after a few people reacting the way you did, they noticed that they were doing something wrong, however what they are still doing is wrong. The whole system is a maneuver to brainwash you. I am still a Christian, however, but I learned what not to do as a Christian. The things that I've experienced first hand with God, as a Christian, before I went into GSLM, wont even allow me to believe that God isn't real, however I am happy that you made this video. I once rode a status on Facebook, talking about First Assembly of Griffin and the pastors. Everything that I wrote was true, however the people that are indoctrinated into the system that they have there, got mad at me and screenshotted the status and comments to Danielle valimont and then you'll vallimont message me asking me why I'm not lying about her family, first of all there is not called a lie when it's true, second of all, if you're offended about what I say about your family in such a way, then you most likely know that I'm telling the truth. By the way, more and more people are leaving at church. I didn't know if you knew that, but it's just a little fun fact

  23. Also when I went to GSLM. I broke one of the rules and they told me to call my mom and tell her what I did and said that they are going to call my mom and tell them what I did without my consent. That is against the law and I could have sued them and reported them, however I thought that, I not doing so, will show them the love of Christ that they're supposed to have, that they don't know about

  24. 10:19 not in China. over there you're supposed to eat until full, whether the plate is empty or not. In fact, to continuously clear, your plate can sometimes be seen as disrespectful, gluttonous, and greedy.

  25. Hey Sarah, I've been watching your hair video's, and today I decided to check out your channel.. I scrolled down and this video caught my attention as I'm Christian. I am beyond shocked of what you experienced..Im so sorry to hear this💔 I've been a Christian for 6 years and it's been the most life changing journey. It's life changing in the most beautiful way. There was nothing 'Jesus' about that camp. That was plain torture. Religion leaves people empty and it can be dangerous. Christianity (coming to know Jesus) is a totally different story.
    I hope that with you speaking up, you got the ball rolling for the others who experienced this to speak up too. I can imagine it would be unpleasant to think back on those memories. Brave to share this. 💖

  26. Sarah, I agree, accept and believe your decision in leaving the cult. However, Jesus is about freedom and love. According to your story, they never showed you love nor freedom. So, this is a satanic cult under the name of christianity to either make people hate Jesus or deceive them into the cult. Either way its an evil plan as long as you are away from the truth. So, becoming an atheist is adhering to their other plan . The truth is that Jesus died for our sins to be forgiven and everyone who believes will have eternal life. From their on its all about obeying basic non-complicated commandments to make your life easier and happier. That's it!
    If it helps you, I want to confirm that heaven and hell exist. I've seen them both. So, Jesus is real but people are evil. So, dont leave Jesus otherwise you are doing the same thing in different way.

  27. Please tell me that is the plot for a horror movie! I can't even imagine how you must have felt, it is too shocking.

  28. Thank you Sarah for making this video on this important subject. Im afraid not many poeple realize this type of institutional abuse goes on; even evangelicals etc who send their kids to these schools often dont realize how harsh they can be and how full of sociopaths they can be . They need to be closed down (not regulated).

  29. Holy shit!!! I’ve heard stories before, but I must admit your story is absolutely horrifying!!! Thank the Gods you survived such utter lunacy!

  30. Thank you so much for your voice! Thank you for raising awareness about Institutional Abuse. Your voice and all others who speak out are so important to impact change! I can relate to so much of what you have said here and I am sure many other survivors will too!

  31. Hi Sarah. Glad to see someone speaking out. There are not enough videos on youtube with information on cults. I was also in a cult and had similar experiences.

  32. Hey, you are certainly remarkable in that—unfortunately—the “reality-master” of your (former) community. This work you’re doing MATTERS…I kinda been there, too.

  33. I escaped the madness of fundamental religion. What a load of crap.
    Men can’t wear shorts women can’t wear anything but dresses, no playing cards no movies, if you have a beer you’re of the devil, I couldn’t even be seen in a car with my sister since we were male and female and some one could think something bad.
    I went to camp three times and had similar experiences.
    Load. Of. Shit.

    I applaud you for your bravery!!!!!

  34. Hi Sarah, I apologize to you for such abuse and violation of your humanness, your story brought tears to my eyes for so many reasons. I kept screaming no!no!noo… the Jesus I know would not do that. I am at a lost for words! These atrocities that were committed against you/ and all the others, in the name of Jesus were wrong on so many levels and should be investigated. I completely agree with vermanshane that it only be a matter of time that a precious young life will be snuffed out. I must agree with you that on a number of levels that was lunacy.

  35. I must say I am completely shocked by your story! There are many religious people who are kind and loving, but there are too many who are dangerously radical. I'm so glad you got the hell out of there!

  36. Hey, Sarah! I was watching Jesus camp <cringe> and this video popped up as recommended. I have to say, I have never been to anything this intense; the closest thing was Teen Mania when I was 19; I was supposed to go to Russia after a two-week training camp in Dallas, TX (in the middle of the summer), but I never made it to Russia. I had been in a car accident like the week before, and my body just couldn't take it. Oh, yeah; they made me feel guilty for that, too.

    Anyway, what kind of people are these?? Surely not Christian. Even at my most indoctrinated, I probably would have sat down and refused to budge. I say that now as an agnostic, but I was pretty indoctrinated.

    I'm fighting the war against religion in my own way: with my brain. I recently started a channel about religion. I'd love for you to go check it out!

  37. Good sister, I grew up northeast of Griffin, and although I didn't attend the camp you went to, I had similar experiences at two nearby christian schools from the 4th thru 10th grades. We students would be beaten with a hardwood paddle for the least little thing. One boy was beaten so badly, his butt looked like hamburger meat, and if memory still serves me well, he was hospitalized for several weeks. Another schoolmate became a local cop after graduating, but ended up killing his family and finally himself. Those events were in the 1970's!!!!!!! This crap has been going on for far too long. But I do wish to "correct" you on one little thing…..one "goes back to being an atheist", one doesn't become an atheist. We're all born atheists – we're born with a "clean slate" if you will. We didn't know gods from goons at birth. Anything thereafter is learned behavior….something far too many never escape from. I'm glad to be atheistic, and will never go back to the mega-crazy fundy world. One film that helped me was Zeitgeist, among many others (including Dawkins' films!). Stay well!

  38. Fantastic story! I was raised one of Jehovah's Witnesses and they were right: Pentecostals be crazy!🤣
    Seriously though, as someone raised in a cult, I appreciate you sharing your story. I had no idea there were camps like this and am interested learning more.
    Keep up the great videos👍

  39. I never would have imagined just how much you'd been through.

    Even more impressive you survived and are as down to Earth and gracious as you are about everything that's hurt you.
    Idk you personally, so only can say from how I perceive you through your videos, you are a remarkably stable, rational, patient and wise person. Even irrespective of your past.
    I know many others without such intelligence and strength don't make it through these abusive upbringings as well.
    Thank you for putting yourself out here like this for others

  40. Oh honey, I just want to hug you.. Don’t be ashamed of your scars, you’ve been through some horrific abuse and your scars are a symbol of survival.. It was so brave of you to share your story, people need to hear about this and hopefully something will be done to stop it.. These people take things in the bible, misinterpret them (on purpose) and twist them into true evil..

  41. I’m so sorry for what you lived, this is not religion. I hope that you are in peace with god now, may he watch over you 😀

  42. The people saying "that's not Christian" one problem with Christianity is the bible can be used to justify both the best and worst of behaviour. I could easily say "Well the bible says take up your cross Jesus suffered a lot more then this…if anything they should be doing more".

  43. I grew up in a church near griffin (probably like 15 miles away, its in henry county) it's also an assembly of god. Women were always made to feel ashamed of their bodies, they kicked out drug addicts that came there to get help, i was eventually not welcomed anymore because i was struggling with my sexuality, and me being the only place i knew to confide in went to the church about it. I sometimes feel as if i was almost traumatized by it? I'm not very religious anymore and a lot of the harsh rules that were placed on girls still make me feel like i'm going to throw up when "too much" skin on my body is showing, I'm terrified of men as they were superior and could yell at you whenever they wanted and touch you and get away with it, and i feel gross or like i'm doing something wrong like the gut feeling when i'm speaking up as leadership because girls were shamed if they spoke up. I felt so worthless and vulnerable and I struggled for a long time opening up to other people. I never went to a boot camp like that. but I had a rough time throughout my middle school years and i confided in my church counselor and they told something VERY similar and i remember feeling so trapped because i wasn't getting any genuine help. I'm so glad I got out of that. it was very cult like.

  44. Leviticus is full of old Jewish laws that people don’t follow anymore. I never read that book it’s super boring.

  45. To quote Stan Marsh from South Park, "You want to be a Christian, that's cool. But you should focus on what Jesus taught instead of the pain and suffering that was handed to him and his followers. Focusing on the pain and suffering is what people did in the Dark Ages and it led up to really bad results."

  46. You're pretty. I hope the priests didn't get you
    Right so halfway through the video you talked about assault and my priest quip isn't so funny anymore. That sucks that happened to you.

  47. Yeah… according to the Bible women are yucky and looked at as property. I'm glad I left Christinsanity a long time ago…

  48. Wow! I just stunned. I thought my experience was bad, but this is just beyond the pale. I'm so glad you made it through.

  49. This camp, the people who ran it should be in jail for the rest of their lives without prospect of parole. What they've done is mental and physical abuse.

  50. Hi sarah, you need to know jesus…he is the way! The Truth! & the Life he is comming soon we have to be ready for him may God bless you ma sis!

  51. I'm sorry this happened to you. What a horrible experience. I'm also sorry these perverse people have given you the false impression that they were a true representation of Christianity. They were not following Jesus' example or living as He lived. Jesus was full of compassion and healed the blind, lame and sick. He came to give his life for others. His altercations, like yours, were with the religious leaders of his day.

  52. Yea do what thou wilt. Just like terrorists do lol no wonder i noticed that your video was already downvoted

  53. So sorry about your really bad experiences.

    If you have become atheist you have no hope you are just worm food when you die. NeedGod.com

  54. Sweetheart you did not leave Christianity. What you left was the insanity and lunacy of people chasing after religion in a form of Christianity. But from what you've described by no means were these people following Jesus. God is angry towards them and I born for you from listening to you it sounds that you have never truly been taught Jesus Christ, the gospel, and God's love in a tangible way. I have a personal true story of conversion. I am willing to share. I am very glad you were able to escape that sort of hell on earth and I do not question why atheism appears so attractive. But again I do want you to know that you never left Christianity because one you were never following Christ and to those that were around you were not following him either you simply have left one aspect of the worlds ways and given into a different one.The one true authentic Jesus can be simply learned about by reading the Scriptures alone. Jesus said follow me. He never said follow my leaders churches or religion. He said follow me

  55. i am going to be honest i dislike missionaries not only for their history of taking away indigenous kids from their parents disrespecting other countries and their faiths indigenous people and trying too get laws passed that goes against human rights and supporting dictatorships yes that happens i had my own experience with one in my family
    one day that person said that all indian men where rapists effectively calling my boyfriend one too who was indian from tamil nadu not only that but has also said other things such as other faiths were not true and that christianity is the only truth out there and that all other faiths where wrong and has also said that african indigenous people were ignored because they did not have christianity
    american missionaries have also killed african children by say going their setting up poorly designed clients and hospitals while sometimes acting as doctors when they have no training in the field one so ever so yes i firmly hate them to be honest and i will not be guilted nor be made to feel like i am a bad person for it either

  56. Sarah, you are such a beautiful human being and I'm so glad you are well, despite the abuse you suffered. Please continue to share your experiences and utilize your communicative gifts. I am a man and can hardly imagine what it must have been like being surrounded by aggressive male "leaders" considering the trauma you sadly were victim to as a child. I am an atheist, however, as a humanist I thank you for your candor and for sharing your experiences. Hopefully this video will impact the cause of human well-being and help others who have been abused in addition to possibly convincing (especially younger) believers to evaluate the legitimacy of their beliefs in the supernatural and avoid psychologically coercive and physically abusive treatment from those who are willing to do harm on the orders of an imaginary "force". Best wishes!!!

  57. The danger is that we confuse the bad deeds of believers done in God's name with God Himself. God is love, human make mistakes. God doesn't agree with sin and the abuse done in His name. So please blame the human's who done you wrong and not God. God loves you Always.

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