How To Regain Trust After A Mistake – Jocko Willink

How To Regain Trust After A Mistake – Jocko Willink


chuckle regarding mistakes what are some
of your own and some you’ve seen made by leaders you’ve looked up to and how to
recover can someone ever fully regain trust this is actually pretty easy one
because look if you make a mistake on it the worst thing you can do if you make a
mistake is trying to avoid taking blame for it that’s the worst thing you can do
and if you think about the bosses that you’ve had and you had some boss that
made a mistake and he’s like Noah wasn’t my fault you just blew totally lose
respect for him so you can’t do that you got to take you got to take ownership of
it because again if you think about the bosses that you’ve had and the times
that you had a boss that made excuses you don’t have any mercy on them you’re
just ruthless on them mmm you just pick them apart so that’s step number one is
you know take ownership if you make a mistake and that’s how it’s always
seemed to me from as I looked up the chain of command you know if I saw a guy
that made mistakes and then he took ownership of them like okay cool
the guy’s you know he knows he made a mistake cool will will support him if
they’re doing the other thing and they’re blaming everybody else they’re
not taking ownership you’re gonna have a hard time with it and as a matter of
fact I actually had a mutiny in in one of my platoons where this is a long time
ago it’s you know all the names are long since forgotten but we had a we had a a
mutiny in our platoon where we said you know pretty much us us lower enlisted
guys we had a we went to the we literally went to the commanding officer
and said we don’t work with this guy yeah so you know all these ideas that
people have of the you know military and of you know we obey orders and all this
stuff I mean think of what a little jackass I was we you know we said well
you know what we don’t want office guy we’re gonna go to the commanding officer
and tell him we don’t want to work for this guy
and a creating officer to his full credit
he was like listen guys you can’t have a mutiny not at my command not on my team
you guys suck it up you figured out a way to work it out
mmm go do what you’re told get in line oh the mutiny didn’t work and then he
fired the guy yeah and over he like basically made it
perfectly clear like this is your one chance hmm and he fired him
dang but it was it was it was pretty crazy to see to see it happen but and I
say this all the time it wasn’t because the guy lacked tactical scale it wasn’t
because he wasn’t physically fit it most of the reason was because he just
couldn’t take any ones you know advice he wouldn’t listen to anybody and so
when he was making a mistake it was no no we’ll do it this way no it’s okay
constant cover-up for himself and obviously it it didn’t work out for him
so your mutiny sorta just put him on put him on notice though this is right up
essentially yeah but I think the commanding officer I think was really
just doing the right thing saying look guys you can’t have a mutiny doesn’t
work that way this is the military get back in there do what you’re supposed to
do and then he was like okay I gotta fire this guy must not be good to have
every enlisted guy in the platoon come forward and say I don’t want to work
with this guy yeah that’s not a good sign so the commanding officer did an
outstanding job and he was actually a great great commanding officer to so and
it worked on the DL okay it worked on the DL yes as echo would say and then I
actually the guy that took over was one of the best guys I ever worked for if
not the best yeah it was pretty awesome and then as far as regaining trust which
is the other part of the question this almost as soon as you admit that you
made a mistake you are automatically regaining trust
that’s where you start you’re gaining trust yeah and it just goes from there
then you follow through with what you say you know you’re constantly trying to
build trust in relationships that’s what you’re trying to do in the minute you’re
lying to people how are you building trust and if you make a mistake and you
say it’s not your fault then that’s a lie and everyone knows it
yeah that that fear is especially not especially but in regards
to regaining trust so to speak you know when someone admits mistakes they have
that fear that oh they’re gonna think I don’t know what I’m doing or I don’t
have a handle on this you know so doesn’t matter it’s so doesn’t matter
it’s so much better to go hey guys I don’t know how to do this
can you show me how to do this I’m not sure I’ve never done this before or hey
never I’ve never used this kind of weapon before can you give me an onion
doc on this thing the worst thing you can do is step up to the line with a
weapon you’ve never used before not know how to lock and load it or clear and
safe it’ll look like a total idiot because then you look like a guy that is
too arrogant and too insecure to ask yeah it’s actually it’s actually a sign
of insecurity if you can’t ask when you need some help with something yeah and
it’s funny how one Pete when people are in that position and all kind of it just
this is kind of a general thing to know is that you’re you come off way more
transparent than you think you know how people will like I don’t
know something just as small as like name-dropping if you named up someone
right even or you just mentioned this person name but you’re really
name-dropping even in a small way yeah yeah like people can smell that yeah so
even like this stuff stuff that’s a little bit more important where if a
leader is insecure about something I want to make like he knows everything
buddy really died when I do stuff like that
I know but yeah I hate when I do stuff like that yeah transparent everyone
everyone knows it and a lot of people Brad they’re not in touch with that they
think that oh yeah they don’t know cuz I’m just gonna sort of mention it and
there’s all these little things that it’s just you just reek of yeah and I
don’t I don’t want to put it like that I want I’ll just say like I said you’re
way more transparent than you think yeah you know in transparent in this day and
age actually has a positive connotation on if you know that yeah but people view
always really transparent guy you read he really just tells you what’s going on
if you’re deliberately trying you’re using it in a negative way so I look
people can see right through year exactly yes yes yeah yeah when you’re
not trying to be transparent right there’s a big difference there and
totally true but it is definitely better just to you know ask and say hey I don’t
know that insecurity then when you don’t feel like asking something that’s it’ll
knock your knowing it says oh you’re insecure yeah what do you hey you know
what I don’t how to do this can you can you ban with us I am stuck on this
problem here can you can you give me help with us cuz I don’t how to do it
hmm people don’t say all this guys unless
you’re doing it every three sentences there’s evidence you haven’t studied
yeah yeah cuz you got a study you got to know your trade gotta know your craft
and if you don’t you gotta learn it yeah oh you got to break out the books and
get on it but once you’ve broken out the books and now there’s a little bit of
stuff that you still don’t understand well guess what just ask the question
yeah cuz your frontline troopers are gonna know more than you they shouldn’t
know more than you yeah you know this it’s highly likely to they don’t know
more than you I mean I was a radio man for eight years and the SEAL Teams and
by the time I was a lieutenant commander in a troop I didn’t know as much as
those you know guys knew about all the new radios and stuff so I just have to
ask a question it’s no big deal yeah if you’re secure and your
leadership you’re you’re fine to ask a couple questions it’s not that big of a
deal yeah but you are not clear the lie to people you’re not clear to make
excuses and that’s what that’s how you regain the trust is by telling people
the truth it’s really a simple concept

15 thoughts on “How To Regain Trust After A Mistake – Jocko Willink

  1. What about when you make a mistake which you know you’ll make again and again?

    How do you take ownership of your future failure where you know the reasons but don’t know how to address and solve those reasons without “making excuses”?

  2. when it comes to the whole "mutiny" thing, i had a similar situation where a guy got promoted to E6 because an E6 was required to be in charge of a certain object and i dont completely remember what that object was. it was 11 years ago (but thats the only reason he was promoted, not his credibility or his ability to lead troops).. we went as a squad and very similar outcome, our 1SG said "suck it up" but the next week he got moved into the motorpool and we were given better leadership. Top pulled all of us aside again and explained how we frustrated him into taking his new mandatory position in a joking manner but we all got the message.

  3. @Jocko Have you, or any of your 'ex friends', know about this guy and
    his work? https://youtu.be/OhjkqLhbgu8 I'm ex-Navy, MM3, and I think
    you and your 'friends' might be able to help with this guys missions.
    Just hoping to connect two youtubers together to help society as a
    whole. Keep up the great work!

  4. Really enjoy the mini videos. I try to get my guys to watch your stuff and these bite size pieces make it easy for them to learn something little a few times a week.

  5. I’ve noticed that leaders that tend to yell and get excited easily, are the same ones that shake when under pressure to perform; they make mistakes and then excuses for the mistakes. They want to appear “in control” but have no self control.

  6. Want to know what's a mistake, having your long term girlfriend sleep with her violent ex behind your back, tell you her forced her to have sex twice, tell me he then didn't force her and was forceful, then he was just rough. Then they had "half sex" as he didn't finish , send texts, pics, take your son out on days out, fuck her college friend and take your son with her and keep you in the dark. Invite this ex to her dad's funeral and ask me if she could and then test him 2 days later and get in a car with him, drive 40 mins out and just have half sex because she decided she didn't want to be in that situation, then put herself back in that situation a week later. Finally this all comes out and she decides she want to fix the relationship. Anyone who thinks I should of seen the signs, we were 5 years deep , happy and she said everything and did everything you have in a secure relationship. How the fuck do you forgive that?????!!!!

  7. there are many times I would make a mistake and own up to it…however i'm around ppl who want to leverage it against me/

  8. Travis Luttrel has shown us that you can take your own incompetence, write a story about it, then profit off of the deaths of the 30+ guys that died trying to fix your mistake. Heck, even though you are absolutely responsible for one of the biggest fuck ups in Special Operations history, you can come out of it and get called "a Hero".

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